A Deeper Dive Into My Story
For the handful of people that have recently joined this community, WELCOME! My name is Chelsea Maliakai (ma-lee-ah-kai) — which translates to “calm water” in Hawaiian. My father gave me my name while he was racing back to Maui via helicopter moments before I was getting ready to make my earth-side appearance. Luckily (and to my sweet mum’s relief), he made it just in time — Dad is a Libra as well and we both share a mutual love for saltwater & travel.
I was fortunate enough to grow up by the ocean. It’s where my first memories take place. It’s also home to my worst nightmare. To this day, it’s where I go to retreat & to reconnect to my Self.
We were just a couple of teens; a brother and sister surfing on the Oregon coast. One minute we were paddling & laughing. The next, our whole world was flipped upside down.
Before anyone could react, I saw my sweet, athletic younger brother get run over commercial fishing boat going 65 mph, the propeller slicing through his elbow and taking his right arm clear off just below his shoulder. It was in that moment that I came to know anxiety for the first time in my life. Despite a dozen life threatening injuries, every moment and decision that day led to his unbelievable survival. Through God’s grace and a number of super heroes along the way, he was airlifted to Portland and in surgery within a matter of hours — not only did he survive, but doctors were miraculously able to reattach his arm.
Both of our healing journeys began that day; Cole’s being very physical. Mine entirely mental.
While Cole was learning to regain his balance and hand movement, I suffered from severe PTSD, survivorship syndrome, insomnia and crippling anxiety. I channeled that anxiety & the inability to help the person I loved the most through a severe eating disorder. Controlling what went in (or didn’t go in) my body was the only thing I felt was within my power.
With the attention focused on Cole's recovery, I got good at hiding in the shadows — both my needs and rapid weight loss. Yoga came into my life shortly before the accident. It suddenly became the bain of my very existence; the only reason I felt called to get out of bed.
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Watching Cole suffer in pain day after day wore on our whole family. Somedays, I don’t know how we all made it out in one piece. Everyone was coping in whatever way they knew how. But we decided as a family unit, that we weren’t going to let this experience break us.
It wasn’t until finals week of my first semester of college that I truly hit my rock bottom. I collapsed on the floor during a hot yoga class & woke up to my teacher standing over me saying “are you going to make the call to your parents or am I?”
If didn’t see the point of carrying on if I couldn’t practice yoga anymore. It gave me purpose, it gave me peace despite so much unknown.
I flew back to Oregon the next day and came forward to my parents. I immediately began an intensive outpatient treatment program at the eating disorder center of denver; the top eating disorder clinic at the time.
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Despite the clinical therapy, medication, reprogramming exercises and family visits, the only thing that really accelerated my healing was consistent meditation and my daily yoga practice. On my mat I felt safe and supported. I started to see my disease as a temporary piece of my journey rather than something to be ashamed of. My yoga teacher held space for me to go inward and feel so I could heal — her, along with several other shamans who held space for me to do the work. With time and patience, I learned how to fall back in love with myself both on & off the mat.
I am bringing this story forward to shed light on the power of meditation and the practice that saved my life 16 years ago — one that has allows me to befriend my anxiety, slow my thoughts, reprogram my trauma responses and find gratitude and peace in the present moment. I also want to highlight the power of hitting your rock bottom and finding the courage to ask for help/support.
As difficult as those years were, I still have my brother. He is thriving, happy and I couldn’t be more proud of the man he has become. I also now know the reason I had to walk the journey and feel the darkness that I did; so that I can truly understand and hold space for those currently suffering in the areas that I was.
Thing is, I still have bad days. We’re never truly “fully healed” from anything but rather, we can learn to ride the waves; to go with life’s flow; to love all the parts of ourselves — the good and the not so good.
My personal healing journey and experience is how “AWAKENED & ALIGNED” — my 1:1 mindful mentorship offering was born.
It is where my clients will be able to experience their own unique healing transformation and rebirth. It’s where they can learn to be their fully, unapologetic authentic selves while feeling seen, supported, connected and empowered.
Together, we will find (reignite) the light within
Does this resonate with you? If it does and if you’re ready to step in, *send me a message* to learn more. I’ll be opening up 5 spots this week.
To my future clients, wherever you are —
I’m so excited to meet you.
To my brother, Cole, I love you more than the ocean & Bali combined.
In light & love,
-Chelsea